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The
grudge-holder suffers from an unusual kind of wound. Although
his grudge is related to a past conflict with another, it is a
wound that is self-inflicted. Remarkably, its healing is
hindered in not being desired. In fact, grudge holding is
actually a cherished spirit of resentment; a welcomed feeling
of ill will toward another. You might say the grudge holder is
glad to be mad at someone.
One thing
you will never see is a happy grudge-holder. His mind is
forever troubled because the object of his grudge becomes the
object of his thinking. He continually rehearses and relives
his mistreatment—perhaps even magnifying it. With each
recollection comes more bitterness and resentment, if not
self-pity. Harboring a grudge defiles the heart, poisons the
thinking and produces misery. The grudge-holder will be hard
put to "rejoice in the Lord" as encouraged in Phil.
3:1—because "as he thinketh in his heart, so is
he" (Prov. 23:7).
Jesus
taught that the "things which proceed out of the mouth
come forth out of the heart..." (Matt. 15:18). The grudge
in the heart soon translates to words in the mouth and to the
detriment of many. As the grudge-holder vilifies and speaks
evil of his brother, he sins against God (Jas. 4:11), hurts
himself, hurts his brother, and hurts those he tells. But it
gets worse.
Grudges
can easily become the wedges of division. As the tongue
advertises the grudge-holder's grievances in search of
sympathy and allies, some are apt to be influenced and
prejudiced — especially family and friends. Their thinking
and conduct toward the perpetrator of this "great
injustice" are adversely affected and, thus, others
become involved in a way that threatens unity in the church.
As Paul said, "...a little leaven leaveneth the whole
lump" (1 Cor. 5:6). Many churches have been made to
suffer unnecessary and irreparable harm through the influence
of grudge-holding brethren.
None is
more deceived than the Christian who thinks he can hold a
grudge without jeopardizing his soul. Calling it something
else doesn't remove the problem. Even when it may not be all
that apparent, we can be tempted to harbor a deep-seated kind
of resentment and bitterness toward others. We must be honest
with ourselves. God says to put away ALL bitterness, and
wrath, and anger, and malice (Eph. 4:31). Do we believe it? Do
we do it?
Finally,
no matter how justifiable the grudge may seem, it is always an
expression of contempt and hate. God commands us to love one
another (Jn. 15:12; 1 Jn. 3:11; 4:7)—even enemies (Matt.
5:44). The grudge condemns; love forgives. "Be ye kind
one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as
God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Eph. 4:32).
Forgiveness—man's
greatest blessing—how desperately we need it, yet the
grudge-holder would forfeit it by withholding it from others.
Brethren, let's get grudges out of our hearts and out of the
church!
Dan
S, Shipley
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