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The
"Age" of Accountability
(Note: I wrote the following while serving as an elder in a
local congregation. We had lots of children and we were
concerned some might be prematurely baptized.)
Parents in our congregation may be having some concerns about
when a child is ready to become a Christian. Perhaps some of
you are in discussion with your children about baptism. To
assist you in your discussions, I am providing some things to
consider:
Age of accountability is not an age at all, but a level of
readiness and maturity. Parents, you must determine your
child's level of maturity.
Those of us who are elders, Bible class teachers, or
the preacher, cannot do it because we spend limited time with
your children. You have the most contact with them and can
best evaluate their readiness to make a life long commitment.
Here are some questions to ask or ways to help you determine
if your child is ready:
1. Is your child only afraid of going to hell at night? Or, do
they express their fears and need during the light of day as
well? Someone truly convicted will have concerns beyond the
"night fears" that are common to children.
2. Does your child want to put off getting baptized until some
future day -- at worship, for instance? If so, then they may
not see the urgency of baptism. Someone truly convicted will
not want to delay. (Acts 22:16 " And now why do you
delay? Arise, and be baptized....")
3. How long have they discussed the subject?
Do they bring it up on their own or is it prompted by
you or some other event (like someone else being baptized)? We
need to be wary of the "bandwagon" effect.
4. What sins do they claim to have committed?
Have them write down all the reasons they feel they
should be baptized. Keep their reasons for some future date
when they may question whether they were baptized for the
right reason.
5. Ask them what would have been the Ethiopian's reaction if
Philip said he could NOT be baptized? (Acts 8:36)
If they realize he would have had to have done it
anyway, then ask them, "What if I said `no' to you about
being baptized?" Do
they feel as if they would have to do it anyway?
Are they willing to do God's will before their parent's
will? Interestingly,
Jesus at the age of 12 determined that he needed to be about
his Father's business. He
was at the age that his Father's will was more important to
him than the will of his parents (Luke 2:49).
6. Ask them, "How will your life be different when you
become a Christian?"
Do they have an "old man of sin" that needs
to be crucified? (Romans 6:6).
What follows are some other thoughts from various preachers
and Christians. You may agree or disagree with some of what is
said. It is only offered to help you to consider some things
you may not have considered before.
Consider This:
What would most parents do if their 9 or 10 or 11 or 12 year
old came home and said, "Mom and Dad, I believe in Jesus
Christ and I want to be baptized"?
I think most parents would be thrilled beyond words!
They would rush that child down to the building and upon their
confession of Christ, the child would be baptized.
But now consider this:
If that same child came home and said, "Mom and Dad, I do
not believe in Jesus Christ and I won't be going with you to
church services anymore!"
How would most parents respond?
"You're not old enough to make that decision!
You're going to church with us!"
Now parents, consider very carefully: If children are not old
enough to decide against Christ, are they old enough to decide
for Christ?
Another Consideration:
Often we preach about baptism and children feel compelled to
respond. They know the answers but can they live them? Too
many children later get "re-baptized."
Ask yourself this question: Would you let your 13 year old get
married? No?
Why? Because
marriage involves a lifelong commitment. In much the same way,
one commits for life to the Lord. A child does not yet
understand the nature of such a commitment. Just as we would
not approve of their marriage at a young age, we should
seriously think about allowing them to commit to the Lord when
they don't know the nature of that commitment.
A Word from a Coach:
Having spent 16 years coaching football and wrestling, I have
noticed that there is significant change that occurs around
the 10th grade. When I get 9th graders (14 - 15 years olds)
they typically are still children, more concerned with playing
and playing around and having fun. Around 10th grade many are
making significant changes toward accepting personal
responsibility toward preparing for the contest, their place
in the team, and teamwork. Before it was about playing and
fun. Now it
becomes more about the team and the contest and the work
involved to get better. Some kids make the shift earlier than
others, some later, but it seems to me that across the board,
its about 15-16 that the change occurs. At 9th grade I'm still
coaching kids, at 10th grade I'm starting to coach young
adults. Some
surveys reveal interesting information about those baptized
around 15-16 as opposed to 10-12. According to the survey, far
more are still faithful among those baptized at 15-16 than at
10-12. Of course, we have to be cautious about the use of
surveys.
For those kids who feel compelled, even though they are not
ready (8-10 year olds especially), they often seem satisfied
when reassured that young people like themselves are safe with
the Lord, and not yet lost.
In Conclusion:
One final word: Pray to God for help in leading your children
to make the right decision at the right time.
Matt Hennecke
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