What is it about secrets and, other discreet information that we receive, that tempts us to go tell others? Is the information so good that we can’t wait to build others up? Or is it so bad that we can’t wait to knock others down? If it’s the latter of the two, let me share a secret: think before you speak. Some suggestions:

Is it True? Have you not ever recollected the scripture in Proverbs 6 before speaking falsely against somebody? The seven fearful abominations to the Lord. “A lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood. A heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly to evil. A false witness who utters lies. And one who spreads strife over brothers” (Prov. 6:16-19). Seeing these sinful iniquities makes any man say to himself, “Never will I do such a thing.” But with gossip, all of them apply. It’s easy to harness a secret and cook it until it’s scorched. Ain’t that the truth? To prevent such a thing, say something good about that person, or sensibly remain silent.

Is it Helpful? Gossip is a deadly disease. It spreads like wildfire and hurts like an unexpected blow. As one man said, “It has neither legs nor wings. It is composed entirely of tales, and most of them have stings.” Why would words that are unhelpful come out of a mouth that is to be holy? “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God” (Matt. 5:9). It would be of no benefit if the Peace Corps went into countries causing more distress. They are there to help; and so are we. We are set apart from the world of wickedness and are here to spread the peace of God. We are here to better, not to cause worse.

Is it Inspiring? To inspire means to put life into a person, to cause arousal and stimulation to one’s emotions. How can a gossip-body be an inspiring person? When we instill good feelings into someone it encourages and builds them up. So then, the opposite of inspire is spiritless. To take life out of your brother due to an uncontrolled tongue is ungodly and immature. Do your best on making your words worth hearing and your intentions valuable, for “The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver” (Prov. 10:20).

Is it Necessary? When and where are secrets and slanders necessary? They’re never mandatory, essential, or required. Words said in secret are still told to the heart of the one saying the secret. It will ruin us and throw more logs on the bonfire of internal hatred. “If your lips would keep from slips, five things observe with care: To whom you speak; of whom you speak; and how, and when, and where” (William Norris). There’s a time and a place for things to be said. It impresses me how we often regret our speech but seldom regret our silence.

Is it Kind? “What is desirable in a man is his kindness” (Prov. 19:22). Don’t we all want to be desired and sought after when it comes to hearing good and profound comments? In order to be in that position, we must remove from our hearts any wickedness. Kind words come from a kind heart. “For he that thinks within himself, so he is” (Prov. 23:7). Don’t expect to say something good about somebody if you have nothing good in your heart. “He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from trouble” (Prov. 21:23). Keep your words soft and sweet because you’ll never know when you’ll have to eat them.

It is undeniably so that the worse thing that can happen to anyone is for them to lose their soul. How much worse to find out that we had a helping hand in such a tragedy! It would be devastating and, above all, difficult to forgive ourselves. We must not let an outcome such as this develop. So how can we keep gossip from happening? THINK before you speak.