It takes a special talent to be able to turn a smile upside down or to miss the rainbow for the storm cloud. Yet, some people have got it down. No matter how good things are going, no matter how the table seems to have turned, they can quickly kill the rally with ill-timed cynicism and poorly-placed pessimism.

In Ephesians 4:31, Paul identified several things that must be put away with the rest of the old man: wrath, anger, clamor, slander, malice. But the first word on the list is the one that is most often overlooked—“bitterness.”

According to commentator John Eadie, bitterness is the “fretted and irritable state of mind that keeps a man in perpetual animosity—that inclines him to harsh and uncharitable opinions of men and things—that makes him sour, crabbed, and repulsive in his general demeanor—that brings a scowl over his face, and infuses venom into the words of his tongue.” Some quotes are just too good to paraphrase.

I’m not a psychologist or sociologist or any other kind of ologist, but I offer these suggestions on how to sweeten bitterness.

Look up. “The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble” said David in Psalm 9:9. The word stronghold means a fortress, something that cannot be moved or shaken. While circumstances of life may change our disposition and outlook, He stands like a rock ready to stabilize and strengthen or hold. Paul and Silas were beaten with rods, thrown in prison, and fastened with stocks. How did they react? They prayed and sang hymns of praise to God (Acts 16:25). While the world may seek comfort in the material, build your hopes on things eternal.

Look around. Bitterness breeds a feeling of despair, that the Lord has somehow forgotten or shortchanged you. But one consideration of all your blessings ought to take care of that. I know a lady who lost her arm in a car accident. She hasn’t spent her days asking, “why me?” Rather she said, “I’m grateful to be alive, and I’m going to use the body and time I have left to glorify God.” She’s doing more with one arm than many of us are doing with two. All because she focuses on what the Lord has given her, not what He has taken away. “Many, O Lord my God, are Thy wonderful works…they are more than can be numbered” (Psalm 40:5).

Look down. I don’t mean to look down on someone to despise them. I mean to reach down. One of the temptations when you’re bitter is to use your tunnel vision, where you are the only one in sight that has any problems. But selfish times call for selfless measures. Instead of dragging people down to the bottom, pick yourself up and bring them with you. Bearing one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:1) involves the recognition that life can be both burdensome and unbearable. But we can use the help of one another to overcome the trial and stay out of the pit.

Paul said that bitterness must be put away from us. If you’re not willing to do that, look out!