good families today - dee bowman

Good Families Today

by Dee Bowman
Southside Church of Christ
Pasadena, Texas

The devil is very bright. He has all kinds of ways he can use to diminish our influence, to retard our spiritual energy, to restrict our spiritual growth. Sadly, he does lots of things that work. For instance, he has taken our progress in industry, education, and economics and turned them against us. Regarding industry, he has lessened our inclinations toward spiritual values by busying us in our jobs and positions. In education, he has sold almost the whole world on the idea that the main goal is not spiritual progress, but the educational variety. And in economics, success has taken over from excellence; a man’s value is measured by how much he has or who knows him rather than by his character.

One of the really bright concoctions of the devil is to fragment and splinter the family. He has blurred the role of the father as the spiritual leader of the family. He has sold women on having a career more than being a mother. And he has convinced children that they are much brighter, more wise than their fathers and mothers and are consequently qualified to make their own decisions without consultation with their elders. The devil has even sold the courts on the idea that nobody has the right to spank a child, that it constitutes abuse, when, in reality, the worst kind of child abuse is to bring a child into the world and then neglect to teach him spiritual values, including the loving discipline necessary to his well-being.

God created the family (Gen. 1-2; Matt 19:4-10; I Cor. 7:1-5). It was not a biological phenomenon nor a social construct. It was intended to be from the beginning to the end of time. It has never been otherwise and even when men have fooled around with it and sought to change it, the Bible still says what it has always said about marriage and the home. Only when man follows the “from the beginning” language from the word of God will society function as it ought and the individuals which comprise it be what they ought to be, both to the family and society as a whole.

What makes good homes? Actually, it’s rather simple: good fathers, good mothers, and good children make good homes. However, that’s not as easy as it sounds. It takes lots of work and prayer to be a good father. It takes lots of concentration and prayer to make a good mother. And it takes lots of patience and prayer to be a good son or daughter.

Good fathers are more concerned with the family’s spiritual progress than with his own progress at work. Now he certainly has responsibilities to work and provide for his own (I Tim. 5:8). But when his main focus is on his work at work and not his work at home, he is relinquishing his role as the spiritual leader of the family and there’s trouble on the horizon. Fathers are to “train up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Mothers will do their part—at least they usually do. But it must begin with good fathers taking the lead in the spiritual development of their children. It’s the best work of all. And “the retirement benefits are out of this world,” someone has said.

Good mothers are more concerned with her children being right than with their being popular. It is astounding to what lengths some mothers will go to see to it that their children are popular with their peers—that they have the right clothes, the right positions, are seen at the right places. As many of you know, an area woman tried to kill a young girl who was in the way of her daughter being selected as a cheerleader. Now that’s an exaggerated case, but the flavors of that are around everywhere. Good mothers will make sure that those in her charge know about and love God, that they are schooled in the principles of good and piety as set forth in the Bible, and that they are on the path to spiritual development, no matter if nobody but God notices them.

Good children are more concerned with doing good than being with the “in” crowd. It’s hard being young in this generation. But it’s always been so. Good children have good instruction and they take patiently the guidance and training of their parents. They learn early to “honor thy father and thy mother (Gal. 6:1-2)” And they know that “obey your parents in the Lord” is right. And they realize that such “honor” may at times mean that they have to sacrifice some of their pleasures for what their parents know to be right and proper. They are more interested, however, in being “in” with their parents than being “in” with their peers.

Finally, three suggestions:

Good fathers can say “no” even if it hurts. Good mothers can say “you better wait.” Good children can say, “you know best.”

Don’t let the devil get a foothold in your family. Start early. Stay late. Do whatever God’s word calls for, and chances are you’ll have a good family, a happy family, one destined for heaven when this life is over.